Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wallacize Your Sentence

Found this exercise on how write to sentences like David Foster Wallace. I lean towards minimalism so this was a challenge. Here's my attempt. For specific instructions go here.

0. Lora didn’t like children. She thought she was pregnant.

1. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood, but her period was late and the condom had slipped.

2. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood, but her period was late and the condom, an afterthought, had slipped.

3. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood, but her period — her rocksteady cycle — was late and the condom, an afterthought, had slipped.

4. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood, but her period — her rocksteady cycle — was late and the condom, an afterthought, had slipped, flown away, escaped.

5. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood and domestic life, but her period — her rocksteady cycle — was late and the condom, an afterthought, had slipped and slid, flown away, escaped.

6. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood and domestic life, but her period — her rocksteady, Swiss-clock cycle — was late and the little purple-studded condom, an ill-conceived afterthought, had slipped and slid, flown away, escaped.

7. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood and domestic life, but her period — her rocksteady, Swiss-clock cycle — was behindhand and the little purple-studded condom, an ill-conceived afterthought, had slipped and slid, flown verily away, escaped.

8. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood and domestic life, but her menses — her rocksteady, Swiss-clock cycle — was behindhand and the little purple-studded prophylactic, an ill-conceived afterthought, had slipped and slid, flown verily away, escaped.

9. Lora knew she wasn’t cut out for motherhood and the Babies-R-Us life, but her menses — her rocksteady, Lötscher Swiss-clock cycle — was behindhand and the little purple-studded Ramses lambskin prophylactic, an ill-conceived afterthought, had slipped and slid, flown verily away, escaped.

P.S. My advice in retrospect is make sure you include more nouns, less verbs.

2 comments:

Anna said...

Fiction or nonfiction??

This is a good exercise1

Kelly Kathleen Ferguson said...

Is there a difference?