How Much Further, Papa Smurf?

Countries visited in the past 42 hours: 3--4 if you count my country of origin

Number of sloppy, wet meltdowns in the past 42 hours: 2

Number of hours of travel left to final destination: 6, by bus, after a 5-hour wait in the Tallinn bus station, Estonia

Number of meltdowns building as I type this because I can't figure out how to make parentheses with this keypad: at least 6

Number of fiancee's thrown into the Gulf of Finland: none yet

Number of beers in the past 42 hours: < 1 so far, which may account for the increased meltdown incidence on this trip.

Lessons learned:

• I'm not as patient in the face of discomfort as I was when I was 22, which is the last time I took such an ill-planned trip to Europe.
• Moomins are cute. I want one.
• A Trina without beer is no Trina I want to know.
• Vilnius is not an easy city to find. It's kind of like that room in Hogwarts that only shows up when someone really needs it. There are, like, no trains or buses or planes that go there. Apparently, I don't need Vilnius enough yet.
• Maybe cruises aren't so bad. Sure, the food's bland, and the ports are touristy, and your companions are old and afraid...but you always have a room waiting for you, and you don't have to lug around your luggage, and pretty much everything is paid for already, and you don't have to use maps if you don't want to. And there's a pool, right. God, I'd love a pool right now.

About ten minutes ago, I was pretty sure I was willing to pay any price to just go home and forget this ever happened. Now I've had a quarter of a beer and the Internet cafe has lulled me into a calmer place with the dulcet tones of Phil Collins. Nothing can put things into perspective like a P.C. drum fill. Tomorrow is another day and, god willing, it will find me in Vilnius.

I haven't had a chance yet to look over my workshop materials. I know that I'm up first, but beyond that, I'm completely unprepared. I'd like to think that I'll catch up on the bus tonight, but, if past experience holds true, I'll be passed out and drooling on Doug's shoulder about five minutes after the bus pulls out of the station.