Dr. Ben Bernacke, Mrs. Katherine Grayson, Mrs. Agnes Jones

With the establishment of my university identification at the university offering me health insurance, comes the Recycled Email That Has Been Used Many Years Before. With this privilege comes spam emails intended for the One Who Came Before. Apparently, this Lindsey person subscribed to St. Paul's Ordway Theater newsletters and updates from YouGoGirl.com (get your spunky back-to-school tips here!). In time I'll be able to offer an elaborate profile, clues culled from the remaining newsletters trickling to my inbox. She enjoys local theatre, may have a tween in the house (or did at one time). It also seems she may be a sympathetic philanthropist.

A coincidence it is not that suddenly Dr. Bernacke (Fed Chairmen, thankyouverymuch), Mrs. Grayson (cancer survivor) and Mrs. Jones (of the South African Lottery Federation Corporation yadda yadda) have all welcomed me into the fold with correspondence. They want to talk to me!

Yes, Dr. Bernacke, I would love to claim my federal refund you're holding for me! I mean it comes as no surprise you'd like my social security number & bank account information. You run the banks, after all. Sent!

Mrs. Grayson, I am so very sorry to hear about your struggle with cancer. What? You want to donate 13 million dollars from you and your church to...me?! Say it ain't so. You need my reply very soon? Okay!

And, Mrs. Jones. I cannot believe my fortune. I will absolutely claim my unclaimed money. Immediately. Why don't more people know about this lottery you speak of?

How did all these lovely individuals know I sit at my desk, spreadsheets and Word documents galore, awaiting the opportunity to run away to a faraway island with loads and loads of money. Oh, if deception did exist not. The scams are growing as desperation over a dismal economy grows.



Also, in anticipation that was the horror to be had in the upper Midwest this weekend, here was Friday's Chicago-area weather advisory on The Weather Channel. Yes, usually we do have time to acclimate... It's like the weatherbots that usually seem to author the advisories grew a heart and sympathized with the sweltering masses:

"WHILE THIS KIND OF HEAT AND HUMIDITY IS NOT UNUSUAL FOR THIS TIME OF YEAR IT HAS BEEN A RARE EVENT IN THE AREA THIS SUMMER. ONLY ONE EPISODE OF 90 PLUS HEAT HAS OCCURRED AND THAT WAS A MONTH AND A HALF AGO. SINCE THEN IT HAS BEEN UNUSUALLY COOL WITH ONLY A HANDFUL OF DAYS WARMING INTO THE MID 80S. TYPICALLY BY THIS LATE INTO THE SUMMER WE HAVE HAVE HAD TIME TO ACCLIMATE TO THE MORE TYPICAL VERY WARM AND OFTEN HUMID CONDITIONS THAT THE REGION NORMALLY EXPERIENCES."